Dear John,

It has been a while since I have blogged.

I write all the time, but I rarely (never) have the courage to hit that "publish" button.

But today is different.

Today I have something to say and I want it to be heard.

I lost my best friend nearly five years ago in a tragic car accident.

I will never fully recover from that loss, but I am a stronger person today than I was then.

I will always have days when I pick up the phone to call her.  When I curl up in a ball and beg her to come back.  I will ALWAYS miss my best friend.  But I will say that because of that loss, I was better prepared for today.

My husband lost his best friend today.

I watched his world fall apart around him.

I held him as the reality of today slapped him across the face.

What a familiar feeling.

But then the reality of today slapped me across the face, too.

And my heart shattered.

Dear John,

I am so sorry.

I am so sorry for not understanding you.

I am sorry for the times that I talked so bad to you.

I am so sorry for the times that I told my husband he needed to come home

when he was spending time with you.

Did I ever tell you how much I appreciated you?

How much I appreciated your kindness?

Your heart.

Your talent.

How much I appreciated the fact that you provided my husband with an unwavering friendship that withstood every obstacle thrown your way?

Did I ever tell you how much you meant to me?

To my husband?

To my family?

I know I did not.

And for that alone, I am so sorry.

I appreciated so much about you.

Your friendship meant so much to me.

You were such a positive light in the life of my husband,

and gave him more than you will ever know.

Dear John,

I hope you know how many people love you.

Respect you. 

Hurt for you.

John,

You were an amazing friend.

I wish I had told you.

Friends,

Please remember to tell your loved ones how much they mean to you.

Embrace the friendships of your loved ones.

Respect one another.

And if you feel that someone is suffering, hold them tighter.

You never know when your time will run out

to tell someone how much they mean to you

and to your loved ones.

Don't hold on to anger.

Hold on to love.

We need more love.

And though we will never understand why so many of our loved ones are taken too soon,

we have to embrace the reminder that loss gives us to love one another

and never forget to share that.

Stripped, stained, stenciled.. and simple!

STRIPPED,  STAINED, STENCILED.. and SIMPLE!

I've had this end table for a while.  Being the horrible blogger than I am, I do not really have a true before picture.  I'll tell you this, though, it started as just solid dark wood.  Then, I used it as my guinea pig for my first ever paint project. It ended HORRIBLY.  I would like to think I have gotten better since then, so I decided to redo it.  Here are the steps to how I got this look!

1.  Strip top half.

There are a ton of strippers out there (get your mind out of the gutter, folks!), but I usually like to use a spray kind to make things easier.  This Klean-Strip Stripper from Home Depot has been doing the trick for me.  Just spray it on, leave it for about ten minutes, then use a scraper to scrape off the existing stain.

Remember to wear protective gloves!  This stuff is STRONG and you do not want the chemicals touching your skin.  Trust me, it burns!

2. Prime bottom half.

I use KILz Original primer from Lowes and Home Depot.  Warning: it smells!

Since you just stripped the top half, I would recommend taping the edges of the top, then flipping it onto the top and painting from there.  You don't want to get paint on that top you just stripped, or else you will have to strip it again!

2.  Paint bottom half white (or color of your choice.)

I used a FLAT shade of white made by Valspar, sold at Lowes.  Using flat paint will give the same sort of look as a chalk paint.

Here is a picture of the table after being stripped and painted.  

3.  Stencil top.

I bought this particular stencil at Hobby Lobby.  They have a ton to choose from!

-First, tape the stencil to the surface of the table.  It is important that it is tight!

-Then use a small paint brush and carefully color in the stencil.  I used the same color that I used on the bottom half.  

My husband could not understand why I wouldn't just brush over the whole thing.  This is because you have to be extremely careful that the paint does not creep under it.

 4.  Stain the top.

-Allow the stencil enough time to dry, then slowly take it off.

-If there are any imperfections where you stenciled, fix them.  You may need to sand spots where paint clogged.

- Paint the stain over the entire top, including where you stenciled.  

I used Minwax Wood Stain in Walnut.

Let the stain dry, then go over it with another coat.  I think I ended up doing three coats of stain.

5.  Antique bottom portion.

I use Valspar Signature Antiquing Glaze from Lowes.  

I ripped up an old t-shirt to do this.  Dip the tshirt into the glaze, and rub it where you want it.  Then, take another part of the t-shirt and rub it off.  Sounds weird, but that is what gives it the faded antique look.

6.  Apply finishing wax.

The final step!  To protect and seal, I apply Miniwax Finishing Wax from Lowes. 

And there you go!  I love this table, and it has been a hit with everyone who has seen it.

I will be updating you guys soon with more pieces I have done, as well as an update on our family vacation that I just arrived home from!

Kitchen Makeover

I've never taken the time to even attempt to decorate my kitchen until now.  It is very small and I just threw an old table and chairs in there and called it a day.  That quickly became old and it was time to fix it up.

 I started with the 

TABLE:

STEP ONE:

As always, I used my liquid sander deglosser.  The table was in good shape, so it didn't have any spots that needed to be truly sanded.  It just had a previous stain that I didn't want coming through, but I also REALLY did not feel like stripping it.

STEP TWO:

I don't always use primer because, according to the people at Lowe's, you don't have to if you use liquid sander deglosser.  But because this is such a large piece and I really did not want to mess it up, I decided to do a coat of my Kilz primer.

STEP THREE:

I painted the whole thing in a flat white paint from Lowe's.  To be honest, I don't have the name of this white on hand. (WORST BLOGGER EVER.)

Anyways, I pretty much just randomly picked one of the hundreds of shades of white. (Seriously, who know how many shades of WHITE exist?)

Three coats and I was cool with it.  But it was boring and I needed to add another color.  Back to Lowes I go.

STEP FOUR:

I decided to go with a deep red to go over that border on the table.

Three coats later and I was obsessed. 

STEP FIVE:

I sanded and added a little wood stain around it to add some distress.  I was in love.  To finish it off, I used my Miniwax finishing wax.

(naturally I don't have a picture of JUST the table once it was done.)

CHAIRS:

SO NEXT, I looked at those large chairs.  They are bad.  To be honest, I tried painting them and I experimented a lot with them.  Nothing was working.  It was time to look for new chairs.

It took me a while to find what I was looking for.  I wanted something much smaller than what I had, and I really was hoping for some cushions I could recover.  Finally, I found these bad boys on Craigslist.

Everyone who I showed them to looked at them with disgust and could not understand why I would ever want them.

They used to be in a restaurant so I knew they were sturdy chairs.  They just needed some extra love. Plus, because of the shape they were in, the cushions were SO easy to take out and recover.

So,

STEP ONE:

I popped out all the cushions and began to sand my life away.  They were a mess as far as the texture of the surface goes.  I spent hours sanding them to be as smooth as possible.  (There were times while sanding that I was questioning my sanity and asking myself WHY I would ever do this to myself.)

 Then I used my liquid sander deglosser and primer.

STEP TWO:

After the liquid sander deglosser and primer, I painted the chairs the same red as the trim of the table. Things were starting to look up.

I finished them off with my clear finishing wax and they were starting to look like real chairs.. just without cushions.

STEP THREE:

I set out to Hobby Lobby to get my fabric for the cushions.  Truth be told, I found this fabric before I found the chairs and loved it.  I was pumped that I found chairs to recover with it.

How cute is that?  It has all my favorite colors in it- red, blue, green and yellow.  (So, pretty much every color is my favorite color apparently.)

STEP FOUR:

After ripping the leather off of the cushions and discovering the foam mess underneath, it was decided that we needed new foam.  So we ran to Wal-Mart and picked up some one inch foam squares.

All that was left to do now was staple the fabric around the cushions with a staple gun.  Once completed, I was definitely pleased with the outcome!

I threw a burlap runner across the top of the table, and then added this little center piece.

^^All I did there was paint a mason jar with some leftover chalk paint, and tied that burlap-looking string (??) around it.  The flowers are from Hobby Lobby and are made of burlap material.  (Can you tell I'm on a burlap kick?)

Lastly, I added the finishing touches.. curtains, wall decor, etc.

It's still not completely finished in my opinion, but I am pretty happy with this outcome!

Dear 18 year old me,

         As I was driving home from dinner at my parents' house tonight (where I did not finish my second glass of wine because I knew I would be getting in my car later), I found myself cursing the probably-16-year-old driver weaving in and out of traffic behind me.  As I cursed this young girl who was now driving approximately 5 inches from my tail, I remembered that it wasn't long ago when that was ME weaving in and out of traffic and flying down Germantown Parkway.  I got to thinking about how at only 22 years old, I have found myself in such a different place than I was in only a few short years ago.  Not only did this make me feel slightly old and extremely uncool (darn), but it also made me want to go back in time and shake the crap out of myself.

        

Dear 18 year old me, 

(eh, more 15-19 year old me),

Your quest to find yourself and your reason is long-lived, but trust me, it will not be found in that handle of vodka.  Your self worth is not measured in how many tequila shots you can take or how fast you can drive your car.  Stop trying to impress everyone and then beg for their respect.  No one will respect you until your respect yourself. 

Your parents are your friends.  Regardless of what you may think, they are on your side.  Believe it or not, they do want what is best for you.  They are not mean nor are they overprotective.  They love you.  One day you will have a little girl of your own and you will finally understand this unconditional love and uncontrollable fear for her.

You are not fat.  Love your body.  Take care of your body.  Do not abuse your body.

Learn about moderation.  In every aspect of life.

Stop saying "I hate you."  You do not hate your parents, nor do you hate the boy who broke your heart.  You do not hate that girl who called you fat, nor do you hate that friend who kissed your crush.  What you don't see is that each of these people are here for a purpose and are instrumental in you finding yourself.  

You never know when it is the last time you will see or talk to someone.  Do not say something you will regret.

Think before you start that car.  Have you had anything to drink? If so, call mom.  I promise, she will be far less angry picking you up from this party than she will be picking you up from jail.  It is not worth it.  

Driving intoxicated is not cool.  Driving fast is not cool.  Texting while driving is not cool.  Driving like a bat out of hell is not cool.  It is dangerous.  There are children and families and elderly in the cars around you.  Do not compromise their life or your own for a text message or a "crazy night out".  One day when you are driving your little girl around, you will get it.  

You may not know exactly who "you" are, but try to be the "you" you know.  Stop looking for yourself in everyone else.  They will only mold you into what THEY are and what THEY want, rather than what YOU are and YOU want.  

You will have your ups and downs.  Days when you have never been happier and days when you are drowning in tears.  Remember, every day is an important chapter in your life, carefully constructing you into the person you are becoming.  

Enjoy the ride.  Wear your seatbelt.  And relax. 

             

$3 Furniture Makeover

Austin and I moved into our home about three months ago from a tiny two bedroom townhouse.  The new house is much larger, 3 bedroom, and is on 4 acres of land.  We love the house and the location.  However, there are a few issues with it.  

A. This house is outdated.  It is 40 years old and I am not sure it has been updated in 40 years.  I'm talking this weird golden brown trim, ugly cream/almost yellow walls, really ugly carpet, brown beat up cabinets.. you get the point.  It is rough.  But the house itself has so much potential!

B.  We don't know what we want to have for dinner, much less where we see ourselves in 5 years.  Therefore, we are scared to buy a house until we know where we want to settle down.  SO, we are renting this home.  That being said, I don't want to put a lot into this house because.. well, its not mine.  So, we are trying to avoid painting walls and all that good stuff.  Trust me, though, it is everything in me not to rip these carpets out with my bare hands.

C.  We came from a tiny townhouse into a home well over twice its size.  We do not have a lot of furniture and the furniture we do have does not fill the wall space of this house.  But why buy all new furniture for a house that you don't know you are going to live in even next year?

All this to say, while the house has potential, it is a little rough right now.  We kind of just threw furniture in here when we moved in and nothing really makes sense.  And it is starting to drive me absolutely crazy.  I have to make some sense out of this home.

So, many of my blogs will be about the little home makeovers that I will be doing around here.  Like I said, I do not want to spend a ton of money on this house seeing as I do not own it.  Many of my blogs will be DIYs and things of that sort for the house.  

That was a ridiculously long introduction for this, but here we go.

$3 Furniture Makeover!

I have recently seen a ton of people refurbishing old furniture to make it new again.  I really loved the look that everyone was getting, so I decided to give it a try.  I am not an artist at all.  I actually am horrible at art.  So I was nervous.  But I actually have grown to be obsessed with this and I think my whole house is going to be furnished by the end of the weekend if I keep this up.

So, first step is finding the furniture you want to paint.  Austin and I went thrifting and antiquing one day when we came across this thrift store with some pretty beat up furniture in the back.  Back as in behind the store.. it was basically a junk yard.  But everything back there was less than $5! 

So I found two pieces that I thought could have potential.  They were rough, but I tried to see past the spiderwebs and broken pieces.

This black thing had a door on the front of it, but when I touched it it fell apart.  It was extremely beat up and looked like it came from the bottom of a dumpster.. but I felt like it had potential.  Not a lot, and it was hard to see.. but I felt like the potential was there.  Plus it was $2.98... I mean, what do I have to lose?

Then I saw this little guy.  It is actually a hutch for a desk, but I immediately saw a bench.  I have been wanting a bench of some sort to put in my kitchen, so I was pretty stoked to hear that this was also only $2.98.  Again, what is to lose at that point?

So after squeezing me, Austin, Stella, and both of these pieces of furniture into my 4Runner, I hurried home to get started.  

At one of the antique stores I had visited that day, they were selling chalk paint.  I had been searching for Annie Sloan chalk paint in Memphis, but I was having trouble finding any retailers.  I did not want to order any online because, well, I was ready to start on this project today.  So I got some of the chalk paint from the antique store.. $12 for a tiny container.  But I was okay with that and I figured two of those containers would be plenty for the black thing.  We can worry about the bench later.

The great thing about chalk paint is that it actually has a chemical in it that does not require you to strip, sand, or prime anything before using it.  Chalk paint is made to go directly onto any surface.  This is my kind of painting.

So I went for it and I painted the black thing a limeish green/blue and white. 

Then, this morning, I went to the Memphis Flea Market and found a guy selling rugs for $5 a piece.  I bought five.  With no idea of where I was going to put them.. but it was another "what do I have to lose" type thing.

So, I put my little new painted chest/bookcase at the end of my hallway over one of my new $5 rugs. 

I am pretty excited by the way it turned out!

Now to the hutch turned bench.  

I went to Home Depot to grab some of their chalk paint for the bench.  It was only $8 for the tiny container compared to $12 at the antique store.

When I was there, I got to talking to this woman about what I was working on.. explaining to her that I am new to this.  She told me that flat paint is ultimately the same thing as chalk paint and much less expensive.  She showed me Klean- Strip Easy Liquid Sander Deglosser and said that if I put that on any surface, I could paint right over it with a flat paint and it would be the same as chalk paint.  DONE.

I got that plus she mixed me two colors of a flat paint and put them in the same size tiny sample container as the chalk paint.. but these were only $2.  And you have a much larger color selection.  Perfect.

It turned out pretty nice.  I was fairly happy with the liquid sander deglosser.  I'm not convinced that a spray primer wouldn't have ultimately done the same thing, but that is okay.

I love the way it turned out.  I used two shades of green, however one is so light that it is basically white.  It just has the tiniest tint of green in it.  I love it.  I put it in the kitchen over another one of my $5 rugs. I am pretty much obsessed.

I have five more pieces of furniture in my garage just waiting for me to paint.  So, I'll be updating this as I go along.  

For $6, I'd say I did pretty good on these two pieces!

Stella's first birthday

Meet Stella. 

  

We were blessed with this little angel on June 30, 2013.
After a year of a lot of fun and not a lot of sleep, it was time for a party.
Stella is ONE!

I decided to have her party at our home- which is slightly outdated, on about 4 1/2 acres of land, and we just moved in about 2 months ago.  I had a lot of work to do.  

PINTEREST is my best friend, just FYI.  

When people first arrived to our home, they walked up to find this at the end of our driveway: 

Stella's throne.

Slightly obnoxious, but it is what it is.  I had seen precious vintage high chairs all over Pinterest and I was obsessed.  So, I found my great grandmother's highchair from when she was a baby and I painted it a light pink.  It wasn't perfect, but it was pretty darn close.

The arch was given to us from Stella's namesake's mother, so of course she needed to sit under it.  The "red carpet," which was pink of course, was ordered from Etsy, along with her outfit.

I had a hard time getting a good picture of the outfit considering she was all over the place, but this was it:

Naturally she ripped the bow out after about five minutes and the tutu didn't last much longer, but it is the thought that counts.  

Due to the fact that it was about 90 degrees outside, most of the party took place inside.  

In the kitchen, there were two tables set up for food and drinks.

For the food table, I used a pink linen table cloth from Party City, and a burlap runner from Hobby Lobby.  The banner hanging across the window was from Hobby Lobby, as well as the matching chalk board on the table that I had also used in her one year photo shoot.  Also from Hobby Lobby are the backless frames on either side of the window that I used to hang pictures of Stella on.

For drinks, we had an "adult lemonade" and a "kid's lemonade." 

For those not offended by the adult lemonade, it was a mixture of lemonade concentrate, sprite, tequila, and beer.  It was delicious.

The two dispensers are from Target, as well as the mason jars we used as glasses.  I got 24 jars and then put plastic cups on the table just in case.  The pom poms hanging above were from Amazon, and so are the pink paper straws.  I also used a burlap runner on this table.

Outside in the sunroom, we had my personal favorite table- dessert.  Our desserts were from Whimsey Cookie Company and Nothing Bundt Cakes- both in Memphis, TN.  If you are from Memphis and have never had either of these, you are missing out and need to get to it.  If you are not from Memphis, both are well worth a trip here.  Seriously.

So, here is a breakdown of everything on this table:

The little cupcake stands in the back were used as "party favors" for the kids.  The stands are from Hobby Lobby, and inside them was little "bundtinis" from Nothing Bundt Cakes.  Basically, cupcakes but better.

I'm not sure if you can see it, but in the middle of the table, behind the big cake, there is a glass rhinestoned cupcake stand holding Stella's personal smash cake- Also from Nothing Bundt Cakes.

In front of that is the large cake for everyone, from Nothing Bundt Cakes, of course.  It was flipping delicious.

On either side of the cake is the Whimsey Cookies.  On one tower we had mini cookies and on the other is the large cookies.  These cookies were and always are a hit.  They are incredible.  I didn't order them in time to have them custom made, but I got lucky because they had cute birthday ones in the right colors already made.  It was fate.

At the end of the party, we asked everyone to come outside.

First, Stella walked down her pink carpet for everyone.  Most people had not seen her walk yet, as she had just started about two weeks prior.  So everyone cheered as she walked down the pink carpet. She loved every second of it and was laughing and clapping with everyone.

We then sat her in her chair and it was time for her to get her 

first hair cut!

Stella's Aunt Amber is a hair stylist, so we thought it would be special for her to give Stella her first hair cut in front of everyone.  Especially since EVERYONE had been asking me when I was going to cut her mullet.  It was time.

Next we opened presents.

Then came Stella's favorite part of the night:

"Smash Cake"

Everyone told me that babies don't actually eat much of the cake. 

Not my kid. She ate the whole thing.  And loved every second of it.

In the end, I'd say it was a success.  And again,

Happy birthday, Stella!