It has been a while since I have blogged.
I write all the time, but I rarely (never) have the courage to hit that "publish" button.
But today is different.
Today I have something to say and I want it to be heard.
I lost my best friend nearly five years ago in a tragic car accident.
I will never fully recover from that loss, but I am a stronger person today than I was then.
I will always have days when I pick up the phone to call her. When I curl up in a ball and beg her to come back. I will ALWAYS miss my best friend. But I will say that because of that loss, I was better prepared for today.
My husband lost his best friend today.
I watched his world fall apart around him.
I held him as the reality of today slapped him across the face.
What a familiar feeling.
But then the reality of today slapped me across the face, too.
And my heart shattered.
Dear John,
I am so sorry.
I am so sorry for not understanding you.
I am sorry for the times that I talked so bad to you.
I am so sorry for the times that I told my husband he needed to come home
when he was spending time with you.
Did I ever tell you how much I appreciated you?
How much I appreciated your kindness?
Your heart.
Your talent.
How much I appreciated the fact that you provided my husband with an unwavering friendship that withstood every obstacle thrown your way?
Did I ever tell you how much you meant to me?
To my husband?
To my family?
I know I did not.
And for that alone, I am so sorry.
I appreciated so much about you.
Your friendship meant so much to me.
You were such a positive light in the life of my husband,
and gave him more than you will ever know.
Dear John,
I hope you know how many people love you.
Respect you.
Hurt for you.
John,
You were an amazing friend.
I wish I had told you.
Friends,
Please remember to tell your loved ones how much they mean to you.
Embrace the friendships of your loved ones.
Respect one another.
And if you feel that someone is suffering, hold them tighter.
You never know when your time will run out
to tell someone how much they mean to you
and to your loved ones.
Don't hold on to anger.
Hold on to love.
We need more love.
And though we will never understand why so many of our loved ones are taken too soon,
we have to embrace the reminder that loss gives us to love one another
and never forget to share that.
